Direct to Video News – Jaws Edition

Rumors are swirling that a DTV sequel to JAWS (!!!) is being considered. Supposedly, Jaws 5 will be made direct to your video store…or will it?

The Rumor:

… You reboot the franchise. Look at what Warners is doing with Superman and Batman and Sony are doing with Bond. It’s hardly comparable, being a fucking rubber shark monster, but what the hell. You forget that Jaws 3 and Jaws 4 were ever made. You bring Brody back. Only this time he’s totally fucking frazzled from the shock of what he’s gone through twenty odd years ago. He’s an old man, he’s alcholic and he’s fucking emotionally broke. His son’s live away, his wife’s dead and he’s about to be forcibly retired from Amity’s police department after decades. Then a shark comes back, starts doing it’s shit and Brody pulls himself together and decides that catching and killing the shark will be his salvation. They didn’t like this. They were all about the “It sounds dark!” “It sounds unmarketable in the avenue we’re considering!” They started talking to me about the straight-to-DVD market being for the teens and primarily young males/females and that they were wanting to focus more on that. One guy says “You know? Teens in peril? That sort of thing?” I reply “You mean like Jaws 2?” Another tells me that Schieder wouldn’t touch anything remotely linked to Jaws sequels. They said that back in the early 80s they nearly sued him because he was contracted to 2 sequels and he did one and refused the other and they got round it in the end by him letting them use his stuff in Jaws 4 but not having to pay him a dime! It doesn’t look likely for me. Then again my agent is telling me that I was 20th down the line from being offered it so it seems fucking nobody wants to touch it…

Sounds awful, right? This is another horror movie where the true horror is it’s existence.

Suddenly, the horror waned as soon as it cast its shadow…

Allow me to debunk. I dropped an email to David Linde to ask if this was true, and he said folks are confused: there’s an HD “Jaws” DVD on its way, but no “Jaws 5” straight-to-DVD.

And if you can’t believe Universal’s top brass, who can you believe?

Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) is good at being silent, and now is good at silencing odd rumors.

Unless the studio lied to him.

do do do do, do do do do…..

Powered By DT Author Box

Written by Tars Tarkas

Tars Tarkas

Runs this joint!