She is on Duty
She is on Duty
aka Jambok-geunmu
2005
Starring
Kim Seon-a as Chun Jae-in (Jane Chun)
Nam Sang-mi as Cha Seung-hee
Kong Yu/Gong Yoo as Kang No-young
Kim Kap-su as Cha Young-jae
Kim Sang-ho as Detective Kang
Korea returns once again to TarsTarkas.NET with a Korean Cop Comedy with some familiar faces. Korean movies are consistently showing up with their “A” game, while Hollywood has been dragging their “R” game at best lately. You know it’s a bad year at the theaters when this only above average movie is still better than much of the dreck in theaters right now. A cop goes undercover in a high school, and it’s not Johnny Depp. There is no street to jump off 21 times or any of that nonsense. Main character Jane Chun is played by Kim Seon-a, who is a first timer here, though likely not a last timer, especially since one of her movies is called Happy Erotic Christmas, touted as the Korean American Pie with Reindeer sex. OK, maybe not any reindeer sex. But there could be… Also starring is Nam Sang-mi from Dead Friend, Too Beautiful to Lie, and Spygirl. Yep, we’ve done every movie she’s been in now, time for her to make more. Quickly, woman, quickly. Also reappearing is Korean Stud Kong Yu from Spygirl and My Tutor Friend. Happy day when Go-Bong is back! She is on Duty has some fun features such as the soundtrack, which sounds like it was taken from Riverdance. You feel like the characters should suddenly start dancing in sequence at various points in the movie. The Lord of the Dance would fit in perfectly here. It’s completely unique, because it’s too bizarre for anyone else to have tried. Some of the uniqueness takes away from the formulaic movie and enhances it, making it a better film.
Categories: Bad, Movies Tags: Gong Yoo, High School Undercover, Kim Kap-su, Kim Sang-ho, Kim Seon-a, Korea, Nam Sang-mi, Women who kick butt
Come Drink with Me
Come Drink with Me
aka Da zui xia
1966
Starring
Pei-Pei Cheng as Golden Swallow
Hua Yueh as Drunken Cat
Hung Lieh Chen as Jade Faced Tiger
Chih-Ching Yang as Abbot Liao Kung
Back in the day, Kung Fu women still kicked butt. Pei-Pei Cheng was one of those women, who helped blaze trails that modern action women march down every day. This film is one that helped inspire countless films after it, it transcends being simply a martial arts film, and becomes a great martial arts film. It’s not just the fights, it’s the costumes, characters, actors, story, and just overall feel of the film. Does it have flaws? Of course. They are fewer in number than most of the films that come down the pipe, but we shall have no inhibitions about pointing them out. A good time is to be had, come this way. Come drink this movie with us. (Boy, that sounds a lot better than the literal translation “Big Drunk Hero” which would cause us to invite you to become a fat drunk slob.)
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Categories: Bad, Movies Tags: Chen Hung-Lieh, Cheng Pei-Pei, Hong Kong, King Hu, Lee Wan-Chung, martial arts, Shaw Brothers, Women who kick butt, wuxia, Yeung Chi-Hing, Yueh Hua
Cutie Honey
Cutie Honey
aka Kyuutii Hanii
2004
Starring
Eriko Sato as Honey Kisaragi/Cutie Honey
Jun Murakami as Seiji Hayami
Mikako Ichikawa as Natsuko Aki
Based on some Anime I’ve never read or seen, Cutie Honey explodes on the screen with outlandish costumes, outlandish overacting, an overly complicated plot, and female characters who can’t seem to keep clothes on. The film tones down the exploding clothes and keeps Cutie Honey running around in her underwear, which is different from what I’ve heard about the ink-drawn source, but confirming that would make me feel far too creepy, so it shall remain a mystery for now. Cutie Honey tries to keep it’s source in mind, as many scenes and dialogue have the look and sound of just jumping off of a cartoon into reality. Some of the situations make little sense in the realm of the reality presented her, or in the real world, but one just goes with the flow. The film itself if entertaining, and does it’s job of being a mindless popcorn flick full of flashy colors, exploding things, fighting, and pretty girls.
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Categories: Bad, Movies Tags: Eriko Sato, Go Nagai, Japan, Jun Murakami, Mikako Ichikawa, super heroes, Women who kick butt
Species III
Species III
2004
Starring
Robin Dunne as Dean
Robert Knepper as Dr. Abbot
Sunny Mabrey as Sara
Amelia Cooke as Amelia
J.P. Pitoc as Hastings
Natasha Henstridge as Eve
Direct to Sci-Fi Channel? How could I lose? Natasha Henstridge made it big by being the alien desperately looking for Mr. Goodbar who just happened to be naked for 78.342193% of the movie. That was followed up by a movie where an Astronaut who went to Mars became an Alien Deuce Bigalow implanting women with exploding babies that reach birthing stage after a few seconds. Due to the quick work of Bubba Blue from Forrest Gump and the remade Natasha Henstridge Astronaut Jones became Astro-not Jones. However, just to show it wasn’t the end of the line, Species II made certain to leave an out. Actually, it left Three! We had one of the Village of the Damned-looking children survive, inside the army truck with dead Natasha, who’s stomach was growing because she was pregnant after death, and out number three involved a random cat that jumped on her stomach, punched around, and quickly ran off. So whatever writers tackled this legacy would have no problem coming up with some sort of plot device. Astoundingly, the writers still had to stretch to get the story rolling, despite it being set up perfectly and easily.
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Categories: Movies, Ugly Tags: Amelia Cooke, DTV, J.P. Pitoc, Natasha Henstridge, Robert Knepper, Robin Dunne, SciFi Channel, Sunny Mabrey, Unnecessary sequels
That 70′s Girl
That 70′s Girl
2003
Starring
Misty Mundae as Petal
Julian Wells as Ashleigh
Kelli Summers (Suzi Lorraine) as Jennifer
AJ Khan as Mandy
John Link as Househunter
Misty Mundae has become synonymous with soft-core lesbian sex flicks that are spoofs of popular culture. Her and Seduction Cinema seem to pump out five or six a year, probably produced over a period of three days each. This one doesn’t even seem to have taken three hours to make. The pattern of goofy jokes followed by lesbian sex is fine in practice, but several times in this movie the jokes in between last one sentence, to be followed by fifteen minute long sex scenes that are played on quarter speed. The fact that Misty Mundae pumps out five of these a year, many with much better production values, jokes, and scenes of women aardvarking in groups of twos, threes, and eighty-sevens, hurts this film, and the fact it clocks in at under 50 minutes long is another strike. The charm of this film is if you find the hippie lifestyle and That 70s Show attractive enough that you want to see the Skinimax version.
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Categories: Movies, Ugly Tags: AJ Khan, Erin Brown, John Link, Julian Wells, Kelli Summers, Lesbians, Misty Mundae, Overly long sex scenes, Seduction Cinema, softcore
